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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22730602">I Swear It’s You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitarin/pseuds/kitarin'>kitarin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Mutual Pining, Nostalgia, Pre-Thor (2011), Thunderstorms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:07:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,446</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22730602</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitarin/pseuds/kitarin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was difficult to really determine who had started it.</p><p>Like many of their squabbles, the actual fault behind it was a murky thing, but at the moment, Loki was entirely and absolutely content to rest all of the blame squarely on his brother’s broad shoulders. It was unarguably Thor’s fault that they’d been assigned to such an obnoxious task in this far-removed corner of the palace, and Loki was determined to be as obstinate about his part in it as possible.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Thor (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Swear It’s You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was difficult to really determine who had started it.</p><p>Like many of their squabbles, the actual fault behind it was a murky thing, but at the moment, Loki was entirely and absolutely content to rest all of the blame squarely on his brother’s broad shoulders. It was unarguably Thor’s fault that they’d been assigned to such an obnoxious task in this far-removed corner of the palace, and Loki was determined to be as obstinate about his part in it as possible.</p><p>Said broad shoulders were currently quite visible as Thor, who’d shed his tunic an hour ago, hefted another large box off of a shelf higher than his head and carried it through the open closet door to plunk it down heavily on the floor between them. A thick layer of dust came with it and he grimaced when Loki snickered. “...I don’t see why you’re laughing when it’s <em>your</em> fault that we’re here,” Thor muttered, raking a hair through his hair and wishing he’d thought to tie it up before they started.</p><p>“<em>My</em> fault?” Loki drawled from where he was sitting on the stone floor, trying to keep cool with his back pressed against the wall, one hand lifted delicately in the air. “<em>You</em> were the one who pushed <em>me</em>, if I recall?”</p><p>Summer had officially ended yesterday in Asgard, and the heat ought to have broken by now, but it hadn’t – not one tiny bit. The afternoon was scorchingly hot and muggy with humidity, making the air itself feel like an extra weight upon their shoulders and rendering the task at hand all the more intolerable. In fact, it was so unreasonably hot that even Loki, usually clad neck to wrist to toes, had opted for only a sleeveless green tunic, a thin pair of leggings and black leather sandals, his dark hair pinned sensibly into a bun at the nape of his neck.</p><p>So much bare skin on his little brother was a rare treat, but Thor couldn’t even bring himself to appreciate the distraction for how irritated he was with Loki. “...only because you elbowed me,” he finally retorted, hating how childish it made him sound.</p><p>Loki was quiet for a long moment, resuming his task with a wave of one hand before bothering to answer, his words soft and measured. “...you deserved it.”</p><p>Crouched down beside the box he’d just retrieved, Thor glanced up at the words, but Loki purposely refused to meet his gaze, his attention focused on his magic, and he found himself drawn into watching the green glow around his brother’s long fingers. “...why?” Thor was impressed, actually, at how precise Loki had gotten with his control over the summer, but he wasn’t about to say so right now. He could tell that Loki was showing off instead of giving him a straight answer and it irked him. “I don’t know why you’re bothering to do it that way – carrying them is probably faster.”</p><p>Loki eyed Thor from over the top of his box as his seidr floated it towards where he was seated, setting it down between them with the faintest thump. “You’re only mad you can’t use seidr well enough to do it this way.”</p><p>Thor grumbled, falling into silence again as he pried open his box, and Loki smirked triumphantly, even if it was only a shallow win.</p><p>There’d been no winners during last night’s scuffle, not that Loki would admit to such out loud.</p><p>They probably wouldn’t have even gotten in that much trouble for the fight except that they’d managed to smash some stupidly expensive and rare antique heirloom vase that was an irreplaceable gift from oh so many centuries ago...</p><p>And they’d managed to do this in front of all of Asgard, at a feast being held in their mutual honor to celebrate the success of their summers spent away from the realm in training.</p><p>It hadn’t been their most shining moment.</p><p>Thor had been nothing short of mortified and horrified, and while Loki never really cared if their father was pissed off at them, even he had been wounded by the stern and icy aura of disappointment their mother had radiated while delivering their punishment after the festivities had ended.</p><p>“<em>If you two intend to act as children, then you shall be reprimanded as children.”</em></p><p>So, here they both were, cleaning out a storage closet full of old bullshit neither of them had so much as looked at in years on the hottest day Asgard had seen in decades. Making them spend time together when they weren’t getting along was absolutely their mother’s brand of punishment and it stung like salt in a very open wound.</p><p>“We could just burn it all instead,” Loki muttered bitterly, nudging his box with one toe. “Wouldn’t need to sort it or discard of it or transport it to our rooms. We’d be finished in, what, an hour, at most?”</p><p>Thor’s head jerked up from where he’d been engrossed in picking through his own box, seemingly aghast at the idea. “But these are our own mementos, Brother!”</p><p>Loki rolled his eyes, but then he pushed off the wall, moving smoothly to his knees to lift the lid on his own box, or, more aptly, trunk. “I think you mean things we outgrew or became bored of decades or even centuries ago, Brother.”</p><p><em>Like you outgrew me this summer</em>.</p><p>The thought floated through Loki’s mind, but he stuffed it down violently before he could speak the words, shifting onto his knees to crawl the three feet between them, peering into Thor’s trunk instead.</p><p>“I think of it more as… phases,” Thor answered with a small shrug, reaching to pull the first item all of the way out from his trunk – a floor-length feather cloak in a bold crimson.</p><p>“Ah, yes, your feather <em>phase</em>,” Loki snorted as Thor jumped to his feet, swinging the cloak around his bare shoulders and fastening the golden clasp.</p><p>“This cloak is amazing! I loved it!” Thor gushed, turning in a slow circle, memories rushing back. “Wore it everywhere once you enchanted the feathers not to snap so easily.”</p><p>Loki sighed with a slow shake of his head, but there was the smallest smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “A decision I quite regretted.”</p><p>“Nonsense!” Thor grinned at Loki, but his brother had already startled rifling through Thor’s trunk himself, pulling out a lightweight silvery colored helmet with wings sharply protruding. “Ah, that one was a favorite too.”</p><p>“How is it possible that you own <em>this many</em> winged helms?” Loki sneered incredulously as he stared at the contents of the trunk. “I can hardly tell them apart.”</p><p>Rather than argue with his brother’s assessment, Thor leaned over Loki’s meticulously organized trunk and started pawing through the contents in retaliation. There were a great many books, though not the sort that Loki kept in either the library or his personal workshop, but instead they were all thin and covered in slightly metallic leather of some sort. Flipping one opened revealed that they were journals of a sort, dated and written in a complicated code of runes that Thor couldn’t read off-hand. Pushing them aside, he face broke into a grin when the next object proved far more familiar.</p><p>“Put that away!” Loki demanded instantly, dropping the helmet back into the trunk with a clatter as he jumped to his feet and reached towards his brother. Thor only laughed and deftly side-stepped him, surprising Loki with the swiftness of his movement, a speed and reflex that was more sharply honed than it had been at the start of the summer.</p><p>“What, don’t want to reminisce on the solid year you spent wanting to be a Valkyrie?” Thor teased, holding the scrap of blue velvet above his head and just out of Loki’s reach.</p><p>“That’s not even true!” Loki protested, and instead of continuing to fight for the fabric, he jabbed his fingers into Thor’s ribs, pleased at the pained yelp he received in response.</p><p>Thor’s hand closed around Loki’s wrist instantly and he dropped the fabric over his little brother’s head as he twisted away, returning to Loki’s trunk with the intention to push his advantage. “Hmm, what other treasures are to be found here, Brother?"</p><p>“Get out of my trunk!” Loki yanked the fabric off of his head, but he couldn’t help taking a moment to run his fingers over the familiar texture of the cloak, distracted by the memories that came rising up in him with it – a winter night, a fireside, a snitched bottle of mead -</p><p>“You started snooping around in mine first,” Thor pointed out in what he felt was a perfectly honest and reasonable manner as he continued to dig through Loki’s past. “And truly, I’ve always thought you looked better in green than blue. Brings out your eyes.”</p><p>Loki let the garment drop into Thor’s opened trunk, trying to convince himself that the flush he could feel crawling down his neck was only due to the heat of the day. Before he could finish an internal debate about response versus retaliation, Thor was talking again, emerging this time with a fistful of multi-colored silk strands and a dubious expression.</p><p>“Oh! It’s... your scarf collection! That phase, ah... really persisted awhile, didn’t it? Still… pops up from time to time.”</p><p>Loki picked up the telltale waver in his brother’s tone that no one else ever seemed to notice and he pounced. “What’s wrong, Brother?” He marched back over to Thor, his fingertips glowing green with his seidr again. “Are you still haunted by the time I turned them all into snakes to chase you out of my room?”</p><p>“I love snakes!” Thor insisted, but he dropped the handful of silks back into the trunk before Loki could actually mess with them, back-stepping and almost tripping himself with the corner of the feathered cloak he was still wearing. “But not enchanted ones that fly at my head, and besides, you’d never cared before if I walked in on you changing. We’d shared either of our beds countless times, bathed together plenty often! And at that point, I wasn’t really aware...”</p><p>Thor’s words trailed off as the color faded from Loki’s fingertips, but he didn’t need to finish the sentence for Loki to guess at his meaning. He couldn’t help being surprised that Thor would even dare bring up such a thing where someone might overhear them. The incident they were both referring to had indeed taken place before any of the times they’d ended up intimate together.</p><p>Before any of their casual, excusable hooking up had begun.</p><p>Before they’d both found ways to give in to the attraction between them that was impossible to ignore -</p><p>– thunderstorms that left Thor crawling into Loki’s bed in the pre-dawn hours; heated, messy kisses exchanged in the aftermath of a battle they’d only narrowly survived; a drunken tryst after a night out celebrating with their friends -</p><p>Before they’d started crossing over a line without actually talking about it.</p><p>Would they finally speak of it? Here? Now?</p><p>Loki refused to give Thor the chance, breaking their eye contact after a long moment of silence and swallowing around the lump in his throat. All of his good humor vanished as he brushed past his brother and disappeared into the closet to see how many boxes remained, how much longer he must endure this torture...</p><p>Thor let him go, his shoulders sagging as he finally shrugged his way out of the feather cloak to keep from overheating. As he laid it gently across Loki’s open trunk, a length of emerald silk caught his eye and he found himself reaching down again to pull it free of the others. The memory that drifted to the surface of his mind was far more recent – a spring not long past, their favorite waterfall, the sunlight on Loki’s pale skin as they swam under the bright cerulean sky together –</p><p>Winding the scarf around his hand several times, Thor followed Loki into the closet, stopping just inside the doorway to watch his brother’s back. Loki was standing perfectly still, hands on his hips as he surveyed the remainder of the many trunks, boxes, bags and various odds and ends they’d accumulated together. With his hair pinned up, Thor could see the slender nape of Loki’s neck and he fought against the urge to embrace his brother from behind and kiss that very spot. “Loki...” he started tentatively, uncertain of what he wanted to say, but knowing he was drawing closer to the source of their fight. “...about last night...”</p><p>
  <em>o/~ Now I stared at you<br/>
From across the room<br/>
Until both my eyes were faded<br/>
I was in a rush<br/>
I was out of luck ~/o</em>
</p><p>“What about last night...” Loki echoed softly, making every effort to keep his tone light.</p><p>Inside his mind was a different story, and Loki closed his eyes to keep from reeling under the memories of the previous day.</p><p>He’d made every effort to convince himself that being home again after a summer away wasn’t a big deal at all. That he wasn’t anxious over seeing his family again. Seeing Thor again. He’d spent the day alone in his room, unpacking and practicing new spellwork and waiting for Thor to come bursting into his space with glorious tales of his summer adventures...</p><p>But the time for the start of the feast had come and gone, and frustrated, Loki had finally given in and gone to the festivities alone.</p><p>His brother was already there, in the midst of their parents and friends, talking and drinking and laughing, radiant and golden from a summer spent under the sun training, and Loki’s entire chest seized at the mere sight of him, the weight of his feelings crushing him until he couldn’t breathe.</p><p>Thor hadn’t waited for him.</p><p>Thor hadn’t come to fetch him.</p><p>Thor didn’t need him.</p><p>Thor didn’t care about him.</p><p>Forgotten, ignored, avoided -</p><p>The oasis of calm that Loki had oh-so-carefully cultivated for months had crumbled under the onslaught of the storm within him.</p><p>
  <em>o/~ Well you were almost there<br/>
Almost mine, yeah<br/>
They say love ain't fair<br/>
But I'm doing fine ~/o</em>
</p><p>“...our fight?” Thor hated the hesitation in his own voice, hated it as much as he hated himself for being a damn coward. Loki was only two feet away right now, but somehow the distance was a chasm.</p><p>After being so far from home, there was no one Thor had looked forward to seeing again more than his little brother.</p><p>No one.</p><p>But everyone <em>else</em> had wanted to see <em>him</em>, and the day had rushed by in a blur of faces and places until he was standing in the middle of the feast, a mug of mead in one hand, laughing at nothing he can remember now, pretending not to be worried about where Loki was.</p><p>Thor had buried his head in the sand the same way all summer, fully immersing himself in sparring and tactics from dawn until dusk, and then feasting and drinking until he fell to bed exhausted each night. It was time enough to convince himself that he could come home and everything could return to the way it ought to be.</p><p>All it took to shatter that illusion was Loki stepping into the room.</p><p>Thor’s heart had leapt into his throat at the sight of him, not merely because his little brother was all the more beautiful for their time apart, but because Thor could tell instantly that he was <em>upset</em>. And he’d known just as instantly that it was his own fault.</p><p>“Forget about it,” Loki muttered darkly, dissolving the memory with his words. “Let’s finish the task at hand and then we can both return to avoiding each other.”</p><p>“I’m not going to forget about it!” Thor insisted, his voice rising. “And as I told you last night, I’m not avoiding you.”</p><p>Loki sighed, his shoulders heaving up and down with it. “What can I do to escape this argument, lest we end up in last night’s fight again <em>without</em> anyone to break it up?”</p><p>The words were out of Thor’s mouth before he’d really thought them through, frustrated with speaking to Loki’s back, frustrated with how obtuse and stubborn his brother was being. “Perhaps it is <em>you</em> who is avoiding me.”</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous!” Loki snapped back immediately as he finally turned, his icy glare shooting daggers at Thor as the hands that had been resting on his hips quickly curled into fists. This was exactly the point in last’s night argument where Loki had elbowed Thor away from him, where Thor had shoved him back, and then it had devolved into the shattering of the vase.</p><p>Something else far more fragile was suspended in the space between them and Loki longed to smash it to bits, if only so he could be free of gutting himself with his own foolishness. “You didn’t even bother to come and see me!”</p><p>Finally, a crack in the ice allowed Thor a glimpse into Loki’s thoughts, but despite wanting to resolve this, he couldn’t help but be wounded at what he deemed an unfair accusation. “You did not seek me out either!”</p><p>Loki’s eyes narrowed further, his brow furrowing, for they both knew it was almost always Thor who sought out Loki, who had the tendency to bury himself in the library or his workshop. He didn’t bother to refute the argument, but instead stabbed more viciously in his response. “As if I’d want to fight your throng of admirers for a mere scrap of your attention? You’re only here with me right now because you HAVE to be!”</p><p>Only Loki could use the truth as such an unfortunate weapon. They were absolutely here because their mother had commanded it, but even if she hadn’t, Thor liked to think that he would have had the courage to resolve this on his own. He was uncertain whether Loki would believe that, but if Thor responded to him in anger again, it would only be playing right into the set-up.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Thor studied his brother for a moment, noting the tears at the corners of his eyes and wondering if perhaps he was not really so alone in running from his own heart. When he spoke again, he also took a step forward, one hand outstretched, his words both gentle and pained. “Why… why are you so angry with me, Brother?”</p><p>Flinching at the words, Loki turned away again sharply, obviously thrown off by Thor not reacting the way he’d expected. He crossed his arms, always a master of words until he was being asked to voice the complicated mess of his own inner turmoil. Why wouldn’t Thor just let them avoid the subject in peace?</p><p>Thor closed the space between them with one final step, his hand landing gently on his brother’s shoulder as he implored, “Please. Talk to me, Loki.”</p><p>Loki didn’t answer Thor immediately, but he didn’t pull away from the touch either, his thoughts whirling and his heart beginning to race.</p><p>Not knowing what else to say, Thor lifted his other hand, letting gravity unwind the length of green silk from it, and then he draped the scarf across Loki’s other shoulder. “I can’t leave things like this between us.”</p><p>“...nor can I.” Lifting a hand to catch the end of the fabric as it slid over his shoulder, Loki couldn’t help but bend to his brother’s plea. He knew it meant cracking everything open, might mean Thor pulling away from him, but… was the current state of affairs really any better? Loki sighed again and finally asked, his voice feeling like gravel in his throat “Do you… do you remember the night before we both left?”</p><p>Their mother’s garden had been in full bloom that late spring night, and they’d wiled away several hours over multiple bottles of wine, strolling together, enjoying one of their favorite places before being parted from it – and each other – for three months. It was a relatively short time in the lifespan of any Asgardian, but it was significant for being the longest they’d ever both been away from home simultaneously, but not together, and unaccompanied by either parent.</p><p>With spirits as bright as the stars overhead, both a bit giddy over their impending adventures, they’d also been unable to keep their hands off of each other. Each touch was affectionate, but casual – a teasing elbow to the side, a hand to an arm while pointing up at a favorite constellation, a stray lock of each other’s hair tucked back behind an ear when the breeze picked up.</p><p>It was when they’d both finally and reluctantly agreed that they ought to retire for the night that they’d slipped over the thin and fading line again.</p><p>Thor had leaned in to press his lips to Loki’s forehead at the same moment that Loki had gone on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, and so they’d landed on the corner of each other’s mouths instead.</p><p>The moment could have ended there, perhaps should have ended there, as they had no one and nothing to really blame it on this time around – no battle, no party, no half-asleep fireside, no stormy night...</p><p>But then they’d both shifted almost imperceptibly and suddenly, Thor’s mouth was on his and Loki was kissing his brother with reckless abandon, fisting a hand in his shirt, uncaring for who might see them; a deep and lingering kiss that was both goodnight and goodbye and...</p><p>And was also a horrific panicked realization... that he was in <em>love</em> with his older brother. That the reason he was so anxious and reluctant over their parting was because… he’d become possessive of Thor – his time, his attention, his affection. He didn’t want to share his brother with anyone else, even if he could not be at his side. But he feared that speaking those thoughts out loud might only drive Thor away from their casual intimacy, away from Loki, and into someone else’s arms. Someone more… appropriate.</p><p>All summer long, they’d had no way to talk in private at all, no way to know what the other was thinking or feeling, and after yesterday’s events, Loki had all but convinced himself that he’d read too much into that night. But… some small flicker of hope refused to be smothered so easily, and so he waited patiently for Thor to answer him.</p><p>“Of course I do...” Thor murmured softly, his breath against the exposed back of Loki’s neck drawing a slight shiver out of him in answer.</p><p>The tension between them was palpable now that they were touching, so similar and yet so different from the way they’d been inside each other’s personal space the entire day before leaving on their respective trips.</p><p>They’d feasted together, packed together whilst running back and forth between their rooms to compare lists, and then finally shared several bottles they’d snitched out of their father’s stash of wine that was older than they were. Their mother’s garden had been empty during the midnight hour, which suited their tipsy laughter and Loki’s dramatic story-telling, and it was somewhere near their favorite cherry tree that it hit Thor like Mjölnir to the side of his head: he was about to be without his brother for the first time in ages.</p><p>It wasn’t as if they’d never spent <em>any</em> time apart, so what was making him so uncomfortable about this parting? Certainly, it was lengthier than ever before, but… it wasn’t as if he didn’t think Loki could handle himself or that he needed Thor to protect him. His little brother was Quite capable in many ways.</p><p>But as he’d stared into Loki’s green eyes, twinkling with the merriment and satisfaction of making Thor laugh so much with his most recent story, Thor had realized that what he didn’t like… was the idea that Loki might look at someone else this way, if he wasn’t around. The idea that someone besides himself might notice how lovely his little brother was… and yet he knew he had absolutely no right at all to <em>be </em>bothered by it. Loki was his <em>Brother, </em>after all… and it was time to say goodnight.</p><p>Loki had been on tiptoe, and Thor had leaned in to kiss his forehead, and then… and then they were actually kissing – fiercely, passionately – and Thor had wrapped his arms around his brother, clutching him close with unspoken desperation.</p><p>For one long, stolen moment, Thor had given in completely and let himself indulge in the dumbfounded realization that he was in love with his little brother.</p><p>And then he’d broken the kiss off just as suddenly, taking a step back, tearing his gaze away from Loki’s flushed cheeks and dazed expression to swallow down a raw rush of guilt, need and confusion.</p><p>He’d murmured a last goodnight and fled.</p><p>And he’d spent the entire summer trying not to think about it.</p><p>Trying… and failing.</p><p>Because something had absolutely changed between them that night, and if he didn’t own up to it here and now, he feared he might lose both his brother… and his lover.</p><p>
  <em>o/~ You take this hand<br/>
You take this heart<br/>
Steal my bones<br/>
From a thousand miles apart</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Feels so cold<br/>
Felt just like its ten shades of winter<br/>
And I need the sun ~/o</em>
</p><p>Ever so slowly, Thor let his hands drift from Loki’s shoulders down Loki’s bare arms as he admitted, “I haven’t been able to get that night out of my head all summer.”</p><p>“...I never would have guessed that after yesterday,” Loki wanted his words to still be angry and accusatory, but instead they were soft and uncertain. Even with the heat of the day, Thor’s touch was still warm against his skin, rising goosebumps in its wake.</p><p>“But why?” Thor asked immediately and this time, he slid his arms around Loki’s shoulders, hugging him from behind, resting his chin on his brother’s shoulder. He wanted to be comforting and reassuring, but the hesitation in his voice gave away his own insecurity. Deep down, he knew he hadn’t sought out Loki yesterday because of it. “...were you not thinking of me all summer too?”</p><p>Fed up with dancing around the topic, his patience fraying by the moment with Thor’s proximity, Loki snapped back more sharply than he meant to. “Obviously!” The break in his voice and the hitch in his breathing were also unintentional, and suddenly his words were tumbling out unchecked as the tears started to roll unbidden down his cheeks. “Thor… you kissed me as if the world was on fire and about to end… and then. <em>walked. away</em>. What was I supposed to think?!”</p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m sorry...” Thor murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of Loki’s neck, just underneath his ear, feeling the hammering of his brother’s pulse under his lips as Loki shivered in response. “I thought… perhaps I was <em>pushing</em> my desires, my feelings, onto you-”</p><p>“Did I not kiss you back?” Loki interrupted him desperately, his whole universe starting to tilt on its axis.</p><p>“With fervor.”</p><p>“Have I not <em>always</em> kissed you back, each time you’ve found your way into my bed?”</p><p>“Always.”</p><p>“Then?”</p><p>Thor could feel the pain in Loki’s words and suddenly realized they’d gone about this entirely the wrong way, simply by not trusting each other’s intentions. “Brother...” he started gently. “Every single time we’ve found our way into each other’s arms, we’ve <em>both</em> made <em>excuses</em> for it… and on that night, the way that we kissed, I realized… that I can’t anymore.”</p><p>Loki froze at those words, instantly terrified that Thor was about to break this off completely despite what he’d just stated about <em>desire</em>, that he might insist they go back to being only -</p><p>When Loki did not answer him, Thor released him just enough to turn his little brother until they were face to face and eye to eye, giving him time to realize that he wasn’t the only one in tears. “Loki. Brother. I’m in love with you.”</p><p>Not <em>I love you</em>, which they’d both said to each other countless times over.</p><p>But I’m <em>in</em> love with you.</p><p>There was no hesitation in Thor’s movement this time as he gently slid one hand around the back of Loki’s neck, angling their faces together as he claimed his brother’s lips with his own. Loki’s voice caught in his throat with a strangled little noise, lips parting as he melted into his brother, tasting the salt of tears in their kiss as Thor’s tongue slid hot and deep against his. The chokehold of anxiety and frustration and fear dissipated swiftly as they drank each other in, reassured by the passion between them that this was very, <em>very</em> mutual.</p><p>Time seemed to slow, the universe narrowing to only this moment, their entire summer apart all but forgotten.</p><p>Loki spread his hands across his brother’s broad back, newly grateful for the awful heat wave that had left them both half-dressed. Thor’s other hand inched slowly up inside Loki’s loose tunic, also seeking skin, and Loki was overcome by the need for <em>more. </em>He craved Thor’s touch, desired all of Thor’s skin under his hands, wanted all of Thor’s body pressed against his, and he broke their kiss off with a breathy gasp. “Wait – not here – I – "</p><p>Returning to reality and glancing around at the dusty walk-in closet, Thor gave Loki a toothy grin as he successfully dragged his nails lightly along Loki’s ribs. “What, this isn’t romantic enough for you, Brother?” Loki shivered, hitting Thor lightly upside the head as he rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were flushed a lovely pink and Thor couldn’t help the joyous little laugh that escaped him.</p><p>“Do you really want to do this in a musty old dragon cave of forgotten treasures where anyone could stumble upon us at any moment, <em>Brother</em>?” Loki retorted at the laughter, but he neither pulled away from Thor’s touch or stopped the wandering of his own hands up into his brother’s hair.</p><p>“Yes,” Thor continued to grin back at him rather salaciously, but when Loki looked ready to throttle him, he amended his answer. “I would. Because I <em>want</em> you. I don’t care where or how, and while I want it to be now-”</p><p>Loki shushed his brother with one finger to his lips, his expression softening into an amused smile. “Have you a bit of patience if the reward is the expanse of your bed beyond the lock on your door... and all afternoon to do as we please together?”</p><p>Thor pulled his hand away from Loki’s neck to take his chin between thumb and forefinger, his eyes sparkling with playful sincerity. “Brother, I would wait an eternity for you, but I <em>desperately</em> hope you won’t hold out on me that long.”</p><p>The most ridiculous thing about hearing Thor say this to him was that Loki was pretty certain that he meant every bit of it, and if there was any doubt left in his mind, it was only his own fear that he didn’t deserve such devotion. “...don’t make me change my mind,” he murmured, letting his voice slide lower, into a threat that he knew Thor wouldn’t take seriously at all. He never did.</p><p>The words were also an easy excuse to slip out of his brother’s grasp and together they hastily repacked their belongings into whichever trunk before kicking them back into the closet. Loki wound the green scarf around his wrist, tucking the ends together in a loose knot, and Thor tossed his previously discarded tunic back on before they departed.</p><p>It was only as they made their way across the palace and past multiple open windows that Loki realized that the azure sky had begun to darken. His last words haunted him as they walked side by side, a familiar thing they’d done so many times he couldn’t possibly have kept track, and yet scandalous had anyone the ability to see into his mind’s eye. So many tiny worries nagged at his happiness – that Asgard would view him as tarnishing their golden prince if they knew, that their parents might disown or murder them both… that Thor might someday change his mind and discard Loki for someone else.</p><p>And yet, before Loki could really sink down into the dark abyss of his own worst thoughts, Thor reached out for him again, ruffling his hand through the back of Loki’s hair, pulling a few strands loose from his bun. It was something he’d always done, since their childhood, something that had always calmed Loki, and as he relaxed under his brother’s touch, Loki remembered something else of utmost importance:</p><p>Loki trusted Thor <em>almost</em> as much as he loved him.</p><p>Alongside that feeling, there wasn’t really room enough to give a damn what anyone else thought about it.</p><p>Thor was <em>his</em>.</p><p>Loki reached out to catch Thor’s hand as it pulled away, intertwining their fingers and squeezing hard.</p><p>Thor squeezed back and wondered if it was possible for his brother to know his thoughts, for Loki to see into his heart and realize how cautiously elated he was. Cautious only because… some small nagging voice in the back of his mind kept expecting Loki to vanish like one of his illusions, for the entire thing to have been some long-running tease he’d hold above Thor’s head for the next century.</p><p>But then their gazes turned from their linked hands to each other’s eyes and Loki smiled, a precious, bright little smile the likes of which Thor had never seen on his face before, and all of the doubt vanished.</p><p>This was no prank, no joke. It needed no excuse.</p><p>There was nothing he wouldn’t do for his little brother – his best friend. He wasn’t the slightest bit sorry he’d confessed his truth, even if Loki had yet to return the sentiment in words. For all of Loki’s mastery of the art, it was always his actions that spoke loudest to Thor anyway.</p><p>A low, steady rumble of thunder began to rattle the walls of the palace as Thor pushed open the door to his rooms and Loki locked it behind them after they entered. He let go of his brother’s hand to stride across the space and throw open the door to his private balcony as the first tiny drops of rain began to fall.</p><p>Loki followed, stepping close and winding his arms around his brother from behind, pressing his cheek against Thor’s back as the scent of rain permeated the room. The cool breeze that came inside with it was a welcome relief after the oppressive heat, and they both breathed it in gratefully before Loki finally spoke, his words coming more easily with his face half buried in his brother’s shirt. “I… haven’t been able to stand the idea... of anyone else having their hands on you.”</p><p>“Perish the thought,” Thor murmured as his hands came to rest over Loki’s, only for Loki to pull them away.</p><p>They turned towards each other simultaneously, Thor catching one of Loki’s hands again as Loki asked, words quick and surprised, “You really didn’t take another lover all summer?”</p><p>Thor laughed, warm and rich and deep in his throat, drawing Loki’s hand to his lips and kissing each knuckle in quick succession. “Not in many <em>years</em>, Brother..”</p><p>“...I haven’t either,” Loki lifted his other hand to comb his fingers tenderly through Thor’s hair and when Thor leaned into the touch with another adoring smile, he broke a little, suddenly blinking back tears as he whispered, “I want you to be mine."</p><p>“Then call me yours as you are mine.” Thor placed Loki’s palm over his own heart, letting his brother feel the beat beneath his fingertips. “I swear it’s you. Only you that my heart beats for, Loki.”</p><p>Lightning split the sky, illuminating Thor’s words as he spoke, and Loki answered him, but the sound was lost to the crack of thunder that followed immediately thereafter. Instead, Thor could only watch as Loki’s lips shaped the words just before he smiled again.</p><p>Loki’s voice echoed in Thor’s mind as his brother pulled him down into a heated kiss.</p><p>“<em>My</em> Thor...”</p><p>
  <em>o/~ </em>
  <em>Cause I swear it's you<br/>
I swear it's you<br/>
I swear it's you that I've waited for<br/>
I swear it's you<br/>
I swear it's you<br/>
I swear it's you that my heart beats for<br/>
And it ain't gonna stop<br/>
No it just won't stop </em>
  <em>~/o</em>
</p><p>Thor released Loki’s hand to wrap both arms around his brother, one hand against his shoulder, the other at his hip, both tugging Loki flush against him as he kissed back with every bit of of pent-up love and need he’d tried too long to hold inside. Loki wound his arms around Thor, but as his hands curled into the fabric of Thor’s tunic, he growled a hint of dissatisfaction into their kiss before breaking it off again.</p><p>“What?” Thor protested against Loki’s lips, chasing after him to steal one more quick kiss. “What is it this time?”</p><p>Thor’s frustrated impatience made Loki snicker as he reached for the hem of his brother’s tunic. “Only this, Brother.”</p><p>“Ah...” Thor breathed in understanding, letting go of Loki long enough to pull it off over his head and toss it to the floor. “One for one,” he insisted, reaching for Loki again. “Let me undress you, Brother.”</p><p>Loki acquiesced as heat coiled in his gut at the gentle demand, letting Thor strip him of his tunic before reaching to unpin his hair, as the wind from the intensifying storm had already pulled more of it loose.</p><p>Thor reached up to wind one curl around a finger as it came tumbling down and then he noticed that Loki still had the green scarf from earlier wrapped around his wrist. “Do you remember the day you wore this?” he asked suddenly, his hand shifting from Loki’s hair to catch his wrist as he moved.</p><p>“...the waterfall,” Loki murmured as he watched Thor press a kiss to the soft inside of his arm, just above his wrist.</p><p>“Tell me what you remember,” Thor asked, laying a slow path of kisses up the interior of Loki’s arm.</p><p>Loki shivered as Thor’s lips grazed the inside crook of his elbow, his eyes drifting closed as he spoke, soft and low. “Away from home. Vanaheim. We were completely alone, but only for a few hours. Official duties finished, no one expecting us until dinner...”</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Thor lifted his head and hummed an agreement before pressing a kiss against the round of Loki’s shoulder. “I convinced you to go for a walk, then a swim...”</p><p>“You couldn’t keep your hands off of me once we were alone,” Loki’s hand landed on Thor’s head, fingers weaving into his hair as Thor began to leave a line of open-mouthed kisses from his shoulder to his neck. “We...” Loki’s words trailed off into a breathy moan as Thor’s lips found the pulse point just under his ear, sucking at it lightly.</p><p>“We both knew we were free to indulge with no need to explain,” Thor said softly into Loki’s ear. “We made love under that waterfall for an hour. You didn’t talk to me for two weeks afterwards.”</p><p>“No, I didn’t, did I?” Loki laughed sharply in bittersweet regret. “But since then… I...”</p><p>“And yet you buried this scarf in a trunk of old-”</p><p>“Keepsakes,” Loki cut him off as his eyes snapped open, using the hand in Thor’s hair to yank his lips away from Loki’s neck, yank him by the hair until their eyes met again. “<em>Not </em>forgotten, simply out of sight, because I thought –”</p><p>This time Thor cut Loki off, but with a kiss. “No need to defend anymore, Brother,” and without any further explanation, he took Loki by the hand, tugging him away form the open door, closer to the bed, until he reached the table beside it. “I only want you to realize...”</p><p>Loki felt his stomach drop as Thor opened the drawer in the table and pulled out a length of red silk to match his own, the other half of the matching scarves they’d bought in the market and worn on that outing. “...I’ve never been alone in this?”</p><p>“You’ve never been alone in this,” Thor agreed, reaching out for Loki’s other wrist and winding the red scarf around it.</p><p>Lightning split the sky again and Loki laughed rather helplessly as he held out both hands, one bound in red and one in green. “This storm is you, isn’t it?”</p><p>Thor’s warm laughter was the thunder itself. “This storm is <em>us</em>.”</p><p>This time when he took Loki’s face between his hands, Thor’s kiss left no space for talking, for thinking, for breathing, as if he could somehow permanently erase all of Loki’s doubt if he only kissed him hard enough. He backed Loki into his bed and then onto it, covering his brother’s body with his own.</p><p>Loki went willingly, eager for the warm bare skin of Thor’s chest pressed against his own, the strength in Thor’s hands pinning his to the mattress, and the feverish kiss that left him feeling dizzy from lack of air. In this position, their mutual arousal was obvious and Loki ground his hips up into his brother’s shamelessly. When they broke this time it was mutual, and Thor peppered Loki’s nose and cheeks with tiny kisses as they caught their breath.</p><p>“Do you trust me?” Thor asked softly, only a hint of blue left around pupils blown wide and black with lust.</p><p>“More than myself,” Loki breathed back and then watched as his brother slowly unwound the length of red silk from his wrist, looping it around the ornately carved headboard of his bed. “Yes,” he answered Thor’s unspoken question when his brother sought his eyes again for his approval.</p><p>“Let me show you that I need no excuse to pleasure the one I love,” Thor unwound the length of green silk this time, watching the flush crawl from Loki’s neck down his chest as he made the second tie.</p><p>The fabric was delicate, something Loki could easily snap with his strength, but he didn’t want to, because he <em>did</em> trust Thor and he curious and aroused by his brother’s choices.</p><p>Thor kissed Loki one last time, light and soft, and then he shifted, his teeth grazing Loki’s collarbone on the way to a nipple. Loki couldn’t help a sharp intake of breath as Thor flicked his tongue across it and pleasure shot straight down his spine.</p><p>Loki’s hands twitched reflexively, wanting to bury themselves in Thor’s hair to encourage him, and he groaned softly when the restraints stopped him, reminded him: he was at Thor’s mercy right now.</p><p>Laughing softly, Thor continued to worry Loki’s nipple as he palmed his brother’s arousal, teasing him until Loki finally let go of a frustrated little moan. Thor answered him by shifting again, this time kissing Loki’s hipbone as his slipped his fingers into the waistband of his pants. “Yes, let me hear you, Brother...”</p><p>“I thought you said you’d <em>undress</em> me,” Loki rasped in answer, but even his best attempt at a glare couldn’t cover how much he was enjoying this and how quickly Thor was unraveling him.</p><p>Thor grinned up at his helpless brother laid out so beautifully for him and then he shifted once more, mouthing the shape of Loki’s cock through the thin material of his leggings, enjoying the way his brother’s hips twitched upwards to beg for more. “So hard for me, Brother...”</p><p>There was no time to come up with another retort because Thor was both dragging Loki’s pants off his hips and engulfing his cock all in the same breath, and Loki moaned, thrusting up into the wet, molten heat of Thor’s mouth. He could lose himself so easily like this, but Thor was slow and deliberate with his movements, dragging his tongue along the underside of Loki’s cock, refusing to give into Loki’s desperate and shallow little thrusts that begged for more speed.</p><p>Instead, he let Loki slip out of his mouth, taking a moment to discard the remainder of both of their clothes and retrieve his favorite oil from the bedside table. It was in the same drawer the scarf had been in and as Loki’s head lolled to the side to watch him, he knew the implication was not missed.</p><p>Loki had already grown frustrated with the restraints by the time Thor began to slowly finger him open and he strained against them, moaning and shaking with need. He wanted to touch Thor too, wanted to pull him close as his brother finally gave him what they both craved the most. “Brother, please!” he finally cried out once Thor was three fingers deep, his tongue teasing the slit of Loki’s leaking cock as he slowly thrust in and out of his brother’s ass.</p><p>Thor paused instantly, looking up at Loki with desire and triumph, wanting nothing more than to hear his brother beg to be fucked. “Please what?”</p><p>“Please… untie me,” Loki rasped, then whispered. “Let me touch you too.”</p><p>Thor could not say no to his brother’s begging and he crawled up the bed until he was straddling Loki, his knees beside his brother’s shoulders as he reached to untie the green silk. The moment Loki’s hand was free, it curled around Thor’s huge, untouched cock, hanging hard and heavy mere inches from his lips. Loki guided the head of it between his lips as he gazed up at Thor, who stalled in removing the second silk as he looked down at Loki, his voice catching in a startled noise as he was taken off guard.</p><p>Loki encouraged Thor to sink down further into him, taking as much of his brother’s cock as he could, swallowing around the head until Thor groaned and shuddered. It would be so easy for Thor to choke him at this angle, but Loki loved every moment of it, loved the feeling of being filled up by his brother’s thick cock. He’d spent far too many nights waking in a cold sweat from dreams like this, but this wasn’t a dream, it was real, it was a storm -</p><p>Thor watched Loki’s eyes flutter as he reached to untie the red silk and he dragged his cock away from his brother’s too tempting mouth, shifting back down until they were eye to eye, watching carefully as Loki gasped a ragged breath in. “Loki?” he asked, tracing two fingers across his brother’s cheek.</p><p>And Loki was finally free again, free to do as he pleased with his perfect, glorious brother. Blinking up at Thor with half-lidded eyes, panting, dazed and possibly a bit out of his mind, he grinned wide. “<em>Mine</em>.”</p><p>“Yours,” Thor answered him, and he entirely wasn’t expecting the sudden burst of strength that came from Loki as he grabbed Thor by the shoulders and forcibly rolled them both over. There was a flash of green light from Loki’s fingertips and the scarves burst to life, lifting off the bed and binding Thor’s wrists to the headboard with a twist of Loki’s wrist. “Yes,” Thor groaned as Loki straddled him and ground their two cocks together. “Anything you want.”</p><p>Loki’s hands landed on his brother’s shoulders as he lifted himself, leaning over Thor until he could kiss his brother again and then he reached back with one hand to guide the head of his brother’s cock towards his achingly ready ass. “Your pleasure,” Loki whispered against Thor’s lips, slowly sinking down, reveling in the feel of Thor’s head finally splitting him open. “Your love, your devotion, your loyalty. You.”</p><p>It was Thor at Loki’s mercy now, and Loki was merciless with both of them, riding his brother’s cock with a furious frenzy only matched by the storm raging all around them. Thor was not to be outmatched, though, and he planted his feet against the bed, thrusting up into Loki until he found the perfect angle that made his brother keen into falsetto with pleasure. “Loki!” Thor gasped helplessly, straining against the scarves, which certainly would have snapped by now without Loki’s magical intervention.</p><p>Hearing Thor cry out his name in such a way vibrated into Loki more powerfully than any thunder ever could and he squeezed tight around his brother’s cock as cried out once more. “Thor!” With one final thrust, the heat of Thor’s release filled him and Loki’s mind exploded into stars as he came too, spilling untouched across his brother’s golden skin before collapsing down onto him.</p><p>The spell released as Loki went limp and Thor’s arms went around his brother immediately, holding him close and tight as they rode out the high together. Hail rattled the glass of the door as one last crack of thunder sounded, and then, finally, the storm began to ebb.</p><p>Dusk came in its wake and for a long time, the two brothers simply lay in an exhausted and contented tangle of limbs, listening to the soft pattering of the rain outside as the room darkened, drowsy in the cool relief that had been ushered in.</p><p>Their long summer was finally over, and nothing would ever be quite the same.</p><p>Tucked against his brother’s side, his head on Thor’s shoulder, Thor’s hand carding rhythmically through his hair, Loki finally found his words again. “Brother...” he whispered as he reached out to take Thor’s other hand in his, and he waited for those impossibly blue eyes to meet his own.</p><p>“Brother…?” Thor murmured back with a warm and sleepy smile, squeezing Loki’s hand.</p><p>Loki’s fingers glowed green once more and the two scarves floated above them for a moment before winding themselves together around their linked hands. “I’m in love with you.”</p><p>Thor’s heart swelled in his chest as his gaze flickered to their bound wrists and then back to Loki’s green eyes, shining with affection, and then he leaned down to brush their lips together in a kiss. “Stay here with me all night?”</p><p>Loki kissed him back, lingering in the soft moment for a little longer before promising. “Until the sun shines on us again. And every night thereafter.”</p><p>
  <em>o/~ Now you were fine by night<br/>
But when the morning light comes<br/>
Comfortable as rain on Sunday<br/>
And I'm a lucky soul<br/>
That holds your hand so tight<br/>
Hope you hear this one day<br/>
Don't fool yourself<br/>
This is my truth ~/o</em>
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